Wednesday, March 29, 2006

"I use the NME..."

It's Wednesday, so it must be NME Day.
Well, actually, the days have long gone when I would have pored fervently over every word in the NME and Melody Maker by Wednesday lunchtime, perhaps even re-reading the latest manifesto brought to you on behalf of the Louise Wener Party, a four-page epic on a day in the life of the Bluetones, or the green-crayon-scrawled screeds angrily dissecting the second verse of a new Manics B-side and whether Menswear really are the future of rock'n'roll or not... (You can answer that one yourself, though a recent revisit of mix-tapes from my stooodent days suggested they perhaps weren't quite as woeful as hazy memory had assured me...)

Sadly, the Maker has now gone to that great recycling bin in the sky, along with the excellent magazines Select and Vox - and the NME itself has dwindled into an over-priced, under-fed annoyance.

This little alternative seems good for a cheap snigger or two, at least...
The Morrissey spoof song titles especially:
1. Don't Make Fun Of Daddy's Girdle
2. Don't Put The Knife In The Butter Until You've Cut The Cheese
3. Elvis '68 Comeback Special
4. Messageboard Hatecrime Incident
5. There Is A Man That Never Goes Out
6. You Don't Have To Be Mad To Work Here (But It Helps)
7. Satan Has Forgiven Jesus
8. Frankly My Dear, That Dress Is A Little Unbecoming

6 comments:

a.c.t said...

Those were the days - I started off on 'Smash Hits' when I was at school (I remember learning all the words to Ice Ice Baby) and then moved on to Melody Maker - very handy for keeping up with Justine Friscmann's hairstyles which I replicated.

Christian said...

NME is rubbish these days. It's all 'blah blah blah *insert really pretentious word here to make us sound really really clever' pete doherty, blah blah blah chris martin blah embrace suck.' Grr. These are the people who helped to inflate the lead singer from Franz Ferdinand's ego.

Adam said...

I haven't touched NME or any other musically orientated magazine in such a long time, predominantly because of the reasons Christian mentioned.

Thanks to the Internet we can make up our own judgements before making a decision on whether we like a band or not. And as far as "gossip" goes, I'd rather pick up a copy of the feminine magazine, Heat.

Dr. Deborah Serani said...

Music is so important to me. We have similar newspapers and mags here in the US....though the UK is often where new music is found!

Lyndon said...

not sure the singer from FF needed anyone's help to inflate his ego... though have to admit to quite liking their latest effort (tho the voice is still annoying)

NME? pft. like most newspapers and magazines: always getting thinner, weaker, more ephemeral and more expensive. who cares how many colours there are or how glossy the paper is, tat is tat is tat. NME gave up reporting and reviewing and moved into the hype industry, which may make their readership more loyal (idiot trend-followers and/or those desperately seeking to be told what is cool and what is not), but also a lot smaller.

Clare said...

And now even Smash Hits has joined the big recycling bin in the sky.

NME is still quite popular isn't it? Doesn't it have some awards show now?