"And in the middle of negotiations, you break down..."

Fifa’s tough talk on ticket touting doesn’t seem to have filtered through to all officials on the ground.
I tried on Monday to return two tickets my brother had been allocated, was unable to take up for the Switzerland-Ukraine game and had (a little belatedly) asked me to try to return and be refunded.
Unfortunately, I was told on arrival at one of the Fifa ticket centres that they could only be transferred online.
Staff at the official centres would refuse to take them back in person for refund and resale - despite the long queues for returns, armies of touts charging outrageous prices.
There was an alternative, ticket centre staff suggested – I could try selling them on myself.
"What, on the streets?" I wondered, unsure whether I'd understood this uniformed official quite correctly.
"Yeah, I guess. Good luck!"

No news from home yet on the two heavily-pregnant brothers' wives (that's the wives who are pregnant, not the mothers), so I'm still waiting to become an uncle. Not long left now if either of them wants to give birth to a "World Cup baby", and the opportunity to christen the child something significant like, I dunno, "Wayne" or "Aaron" or "Crouchy". Or "Sven". Or "Jurgen". Or "Goleo".

On second thoughts, burdening a child with any of those names risks running up thousands of pounds' worth of psychiatry sessions for years to come.
Especially if it's a girl.