"Stop right now, thank you very much..."

Surprisingly, amid all the city swells, there haven't been as many outlandish outfits as you might perhaps expect - save for a couple of England fans inexplicably turning up in Frankfurt in skimpy, pink babydoll skirts.
Instead, supporters are tending to stick to tried and trusted methods such as dyeing their hair, or painting small flags on their cheeks.
One accessorising German follower seems to have misunderstood the message, however. Ralf Kendzia has allowed that opening-day win to go not to his head, but his bottom – having the national flag tattooed to his right cheek, and yet at the same time, the wrong cheek.
His bare behind now bares the rather presumptuous, premature message: “Deutschland – Weltmeister 2006”.
Victoria Beckham’s rather more pert posterior, imprinted with the England flag though only trouser-deep, has understandably stirred more passion - in the papers and on TV, anyway - than flabby 41-year-old Ralf's.
And after seeing Paolo Wanchope saunter so simply through the hosts’ hopeless defence, any Germans tempted to copy Ralf's idea are advised to sit on it awhile.